Nearly almost a year after writing the old journal, I'm realize how hard i had to try to achieve such grades from last spring... I look now as even more effort has to be put in order to acomplish the task at hand, before my complete move to sac state. The transition wont be nice... but nothing ever is... now I feel like writing something story, see how much my progress has made since I started in the first place:

...
I dont know why I decided to do it in the first place, maybe it was because there was some foolish goal that needed to be accomplished, but I know one thing for now. Everything I've done has only left a wake of destruction behind me. All my friends... gone. All my family... dead. What left me my sanity... lost forever.

Everyday, I walk on this earth searching for something, but never knowing what it is. Vast amount of enemies try to stop me, but for what reason? There mindless order to kill me send their simple lives ending before me, but what good does it all do if it achieves nothing in the end.

I am anzura, lost in age, and forgotten in minds. I've become a sort of monster to people now, a sort of rumor that spread along people that keeps children from disobeying their parents. The only thing I ever have to accompany me is my sword, stained with the blood of countless enemies that I have slained, but it never ends... all they want to do is end my life, something which has no end.

But for weeks, I've been just sitting on this mountain, so high that the light of the sun can barely touch. My cloak is torn, and my hood is getting warn out from old age. I've lived long past my time, but there's no point in worrying about it anymore, for it'll stay with me forever.

It used to be different though... back when I had her... yes, she was someone I would have sacraficed my life for completely...

Back then, I was a normal person, no stronger then any man to have walk this earth. I was exceptional skilled in my fighting abilities, but nothing that could defeat entire armies... but I didnt care, she was always there for me.

Her name was Lezarina, and she was my wife. Being able to work and live with her made life something unforgettable, and to no end did I love her.

But then one fateful day, something was wrong. She had left to go buy some food from the local market, and so I waited. Usually she came back within a half of a day, but she hadn't, so I packed my sword and left off to find out what had happen.

Oh how I could remember that fateful day... houses on fire, people screaming as I saw her... being stabbed by them... the enemy... the people who wielded 2 sword. I tried to attack them, but I was quickly defeated and left to die with my wife, and that day, I vowed to seek revenge on those who had done this to us, and to free my wife from her prison.

That day, I signed a deal with the devils of hell to give me the strenth to fight against the enemy and to give me the power to kill all of them... but what I got instead was something i couldn't forgive. I was transformed into a monster, and my wife was taken from me because the one who did this to my wife... was the devil.

But I have long broken from his grasp, but the tortures I endure from it still haunt me. I still see my wife stabbed and taken to hell as clearly as it had been yesterday... I can only hope that she still has her sanity left to survive her those long year.

but long have I searched to find nothing... every path has lead to nothing, but i somehow continue to look... that someday, I might find him and bring him down.